He hunts out Dean, who’s enjoying the Maid of Honour’s full and luscious dancefloor attention, and tells him he wants to take him up ‘on that offer’.


‘Follow me,’ Jed tells the bridesmaid’s gracefully buxom bestie, ‘and then follow my lead. Time to hit the dancefloor, hit the dancefloor.’ It’s a popular song reference (Sia’s Cheap Thrills featuring the inimitable Jamaican rap stylings of Sean Paul – show dem it girl, bada bang bang – in case you didn’t know) and Clara titters to hear it. Staying abreast of music trends is paying dividends that Jed has never expected. The precocious teen sets aside her glass and allows him to usher her through the clumps of guests, guiding with a palm that barely touches her lower back. He steers her around the dance area, away from where he was recently chatting with Lily’s tipsy mother. The less bridal-party attention he draws to himself at this point, the better.Uptown Funk, the first of the evening’s floor-fillers, is pumping out by the time they insinuate their way among the dancers, Clara brushing tantalisingly close to Jed in her linen party dress. They wriggle into open space and from there into sync with the music. She goes naturally – with no hint of self-consciousness – for a full-body groove, while he opts for less-is-more restraint, letting her flaunt her hot self in contrast to his ironic minimalism. (Jed is a youthful thirty-six and most definitely not anyone’s father, but he’s careful still to steer clear of treacherous dad-dancing pitfalls.) Clara’s high heels raise her eye-to-chin-level and she smiles up at him prettily, adding some Latin slink to the disco-funk moves that the Mars/Ronson modern dance phenomenon inspires. No one else, responsible-Jed reckons, is paying them much attention. Friends of Groom and Bridesmaid Dance Together at Wedding – hardly cause to stop the fucking presses. The rapid inflation of his cock inside his tailored trousers, if they but knew, would make it rather more attention-worthy.‘So is this rescue still on?’ Clara shouts above the music. ‘Or are we just dancing?’‘Oh it’s on,’ Jed tells her, leaning down and in so close that the skin of their faces is almost touching. ‘I mean, you and I could do our own thing, but you’re here as her friend and it’s a special day for her, right?’‘Yeah I know,’ Clara says, with a reluctance that reads as more playful than not.‘We can’t just abandon her to the grown-ups…’‘I know… Wait, you are a grown-up!’ She prods his chest, her nose brushing his cheek as she laughs into his ear. ‘You’re a teacher!’Jed can go either of two ways here – the ‘Not right now’ route, or the one for which in fact he opts: ‘Yes – and today’s lesson is how to share, okay?’ He taps a finger to the skin of her breastbone in a way he’s never done in his career to someone student-age. ‘Okay?’‘Okay!’ Clara agrees in a wide-eyed laughy way that, if we’re interpreting subtext (and we one hundred per cent are), reads as: I’m not exactly sure what that means or if it means half of what I think it might mean, but it’s kind of funny and sexy, so fuck what it means and let’s just do it, whatever IT is!‘Good,’ Jed says.They share a smile and dance on, the teacher glancing around to see what’s happening elsewhere amid the mirror-ball’s whirling speckles of light. Bride and groom are dancing up an attention-grabbing storm. Dean is working all his well-honed moves on the Maid of Honour. (They appear to be working.) Elaine Babcock remains on the outskirts and is now in conversation with a man who may or may not be her husband. Lily, however, is partnering another older male relative in what might best be described as a demure sulk. She’s a few metres away from Jed and Clara and he can see, glimpsing through the milling dancers, that she’s looking their direction.Now Jed isn’t a massive egoist – know that – but he’s damn well learnt how to read a room and has an additional Hyde-heightened radar tonight. Lily’s prevailing sentiment is this: I’m stuck with my Grandad, while my so-called friend has hooked the funny, interesting teacher guy! His plan, in its simplicity, is working.‘Call her over,’ Jed tells Clara, and the girl needs no further bidding. She waves and smiles, beckoning with her head. Lily returns a ‘Don’t let me interrupt’ pout, whereupon Clara signals an open-handed ‘It’s not like that’ reassurance. Jed backs up his dance partner with a ‘You – here – now’ sequence of finger gestures, the inappropriate nature of which is not lost on either Hyde or Jekyll.Still semi-reluctant, Lily apologises by way of a peck on the cheek to her ageing opposite number and sidles her way over. ‘Not a third wheel then, am I?’ she says in Clara’s ear, her friend responding with a playful ‘As if’ arm-slap followed bahis şirketleri by a hug.‘I heard that,’ Jed says, leaning into Lily. ‘She tried to get to me first, but I’m still totally up for grabs.’‘Oh are you?’ Lily’s mock-shock at his arrogance is the first sign that she’s forgiven them both. ‘You think I’ll be doing any grabbing?’‘Maybe, but you’ll have to fight it out with your bezzie pal first.’Lily bats him with her palm. ‘Now he wants us to fight for him,’ she informs Clara.‘He was talking about us sharing him a moment ago!’‘God, who does he think he is?’ Whether Lily is picking up Clara-style on the innuendo is far from clear, but like her friend she thinks the notion is hilarious. ‘Well if we’re sharing, it’s my turn for a dance.’And dance she does, the bridesmaid shimmying close to Jed in modest heels that elevate her almost to Clara’s height. As Uptown Funk segues smoothly into Ed Sheeran’s Shape of You, Lily is hitching her dress so that one smooth-waxed leg peeks out of the slit in the skirts; she’s dancing for her own fun now, not to be sweet with all those senior family members. Clara plays it cool, doing her own sexy thing side-on to both and allowing Lily her moment.For Jed it’s time to calculate and recalibrate. The eagerly playful presence of both girls, along with the shock of his new openness to possibility, is promoting increased levels of sub-trouser activity. But his inner Hyde is a schemer and knows how to corral lust into a plan that will maximise its chances of fulfilment. The off-duty teacher makes the following readings of his two partners as he dances. (See? Men can multi-task, when properly motivated.)Lily: Having been caught up in family stuff while her bestie snagged the attention of the guy they’d jointly befriended, she’s delighted to find herself back in the game. She may not be entirely sure of the game’s name, or of its rules for that matter, but she sure as hell wants to play. Pally hugs aside, Clara is still her rival, and she’s therefore capitalising on her time as Dancing Queen, even more so when the music makes a slick cut to the ‘70s disco staple of that name. Her spinning smiley-coy hair-twirling performance, complete with extensive display of her dress’s daring backless feature, is hampered, however, by the lurking dread of parental interference. (Those tell-tale glances give it all away.)Clara: Fond though she is of her friend, ultimately all’s fair in war and libidinous liaisons. Boyfriends may be off-limits, but casual encounters are a whole other category. That said, she’ll adapt to the situation; if Jed wants to keep Lily on board their sexy little friendship train, she’s cool with that. Hey, it even helps square things with her conscience. Plus, she knows she’s hot and she knows Jed agrees, so his keeping her pretty pal as fellow-passenger is no ego-busting biggie. Especially when she can prove herself move-for-move an equal pretender to ABBA’s Dancing Queen crown.Yes – once Clara’s had enough of being the midpoint in this isosceles dancefloor triangle (pardon my getting geometric), she subtly reshapes it to something more equilateral, the oh-so-friendly competitors giving Jed joint benefit of their teen-tease. Lily is throwing over-the-shoulder glances while hitching up that hem to flash increasing amounts of her smoothly-waxed leg, while Clara is weaving her hands above her head, thrusting her tits proudly and out-smouldering Vesuvius.For Jed it’s like the Prom Night all over, but minus chaperone duties, the scrutiny of fellow-staff, career concerns and every other inhibiting factor from that evening. Include all moral ones. These school-age girls have got their flirt on – it’s Tori-times-two! – and he’s not just letting it happen, he’s actively stoking the fire, while mentally stroking himself. Who cares if he’s bodily interacting with young things literally half his age? Wellllllll…..Okay, Clive maybe cares – Jed notices the groom glancing over at one point, no doubt making mental note that one of his stags is enjoying the company of his new niece-by-marriage and her friend. But frankly my friend, Jed thinks, I don’t GIVE a fuck. By Dean’s account Clive’s stag weekend behaviour wasn’t nearly as blameless as the groom claims to recall, so moral aspersions won’t serve the guy well should he ever choose to cast any. Those Friday night escorts came from families of their own, but it’s unlikely his old uni pal’s engaged-to-be-married cock took that into account when they got the toys out and began playing with each other’s wet cunt. Well, this is Jed’s night to bahis firmaları indulge, and no third-party indignation is going to knock him off his chosen course. Fuck Clive. Fuck ‘em all. And speaking of fucking…‘I feel like the judge in a dance-off,’ he tells the young and sweet contenders, his dick already invested in the judging process.As intended, his words intensify their contest.Clara reshapes the triangle – drawing in close, oomphing up her hippy-chick moves, while adopting a hyper-erect posture that shoves her boobs out so they can’t be ignored. She sweeps dark hair from her face, flashing Jed a ‘Get me, Mr Teacher’ grin that pretty much dares him to check out her quiversome goods. When she’s had her moment, she proudly retreats and shoots a cheekily defiant look to her friend.It’s Lily’s turn. The cutesy blonde bridesmaid backs onto Jed with her skirt raised off her ankles, pulled the fabric tight enough to outline the contours of her rear. She peers up and over her shoulder, flashing her sweetest smile, while – if not full-on twerking – supplying enough shiver-and-shake to make him contemplate the proximity of his trouser crotch to her hot young ass. Then she lets go her dress and pushes up her coiffed hair with both hands, letting the strands tumble down over her shoulders in sexy disarray as she returns in triumph, resetting the triangulation.It’s miraculous what a little rivalry can do, Jed thinks. And he’s not wrong, is he?‘Who’s winning?’ Clara asks. The girls regard him and each other with determinedly smiling game-faces.‘Way too early to call it,’ he says, ready to capitalise on the moment. ‘Thing is…’ He leans in and is rewarded by having both youngsters crush their sexy bodies tight to him so they can hear properly. (The ensuing conversation remains similarly up close and personal, so they can almost feel the vibrations of each other’s lips; tiny flecks of girl-spit will be landing on Jed’s face once emotions rise and he’ll love the fuck out of it.) ‘It’ll be won and lost by default if Lily’s mum follows through on her threat of an early departure,’ he tells them, casting a look to the periphery of the dance area and thus fuelling Lily’s paranoia.‘Oh god, she wouldn’t…’ the bridesmaid hisses, more angry than crestfallen. ‘I’m in the bridal party, not her. I knew this’d happen, she can’t bear me having more fun than she is! She’ll insist, and Dad’ll cave…’‘That’d be a shame,’ Clara says, almost like she means it.‘Yeah, cos you’d be going home too,’ Lily fires back.‘Well, it’s easier for me to take a taxi…’ Clara’s shrug is apologetic, yet with a lingering hint of defiance.‘It’s not,’ Lily says, instantly countering. ‘Mum’s going to insist you come with us. You’re here with me, remember?’‘Yeah, I know, but…’‘But what? I’m the only person you know here!’‘I know Jed…’ It’s out of Clara’s mouth before she can stop it. Lily looks furious, Clara regretful.Jed leaps on the moment.‘Hey, stick with me and no one has to leave, and no one has to fall out,’ he says, laying his hands on one bare teen shoulder apiece and marvelling at how fortune favours the boldly self-serving. Faced with the spectre of a truncated evening and/or horrible bad feeling, both girls look to him for answers. ‘This hotel has a whole other bar,’ he explains. ‘What say we hide out there for a while and I can get us all more drinks? With my own money this time, not Clive’s dad’s.’Clara and Lily jointly express enthusiasm at his idea.‘Okay, cool.’‘Sounds fun!’‘You two go there now – use the other exit, follow the signs. I’ll be with you in a few. I’m not trying to get rid of you, I promise. Either of you.’ He divides his conspiratorial grin between the two of them. The friends positively scamper through the other assorted queens of dance, leaving Jed to absorb the significance of what the actual fuck he’s doing.Okay, that last move was properly devious. Your response may be any one, or a combination, of the following: A – dirty bastard; B – this guy has issues; C – don’t do it!!!; D – GO JED!!!!!, but purely in terms of a deviousness rating, he scored pretty high, and with that you surely cannot disagree. His next few actions serve to underscore how base our horny protagonist’s intentions have become. To summarise:He checks the Rebecca conversation for updates and finds the following encouragement: Go get ’em, fucker, and get me evidence. I want to see what a bastard you’ve been.He responds instantaneously with I will, and I’ll see what I can do.He hunts out Dean, who’s enjoying the Maid of Honour’s full and luscious dancefloor attention, kaçak bahis siteleri and tells him he wants to take him up ‘on that offer’.If Jed were excited by his own daring before he left the throng of dancers, he’s damn well blown his own teacherly mind by now. And things are accelerating way too exponentially to allow much analytical thought. Which works exclusively in the favour of Hyde.Dean is making commendable progress – depending on what you personally deem commendable – towards getting his cock deep inside the Maid of Honour before the evening is through. Jed knows he should have leapt on the guy’s offer earlier, but it’s taken the impetus of the dance floor to override the last of his moral qualms.‘Mate,’ he says, laying a hand on Dean’s shoulder (he’s never considered this bloke his ‘mate’ in the past, but tonight Dean is the kind of friend Jed needs), ‘I could use some of that party spirit.’‘Don’t you go anywhere,’ the tried-and-true reprobate instructs his overheating dance partner. She appears way too enamoured, her decolletage quivering way too extravagantly, to consider escaping; another bridal party member in the crosshairs of lust, Jed thinks. Dean nods to him and together they leave the reception room, heading for the Gents’ toilets.The time is 8.57pm.By 9.05pm Jed and Dean are leaving the restrooms, the former having pocketed several grams’ worth of cocaine in individual miniature plastic bags along with a trio of ecstasy tablets wrapped in an improvised toilet tissue envelope. The latter items were suggested to him by his partner-in-devilry. ‘If your little party’s going where I think it is – yeah, I’ve seen what you’re up to, you fucking animal – these will help the mood nicely.’Jed’s heart is racing now like he’s already ingested some of what’s secreted in his tux jacket. Deano’s attempted run-down of drug etiquette, however, he cordially declined: ‘No need, buddy. I’ve done three courses in this shit over the years. I teach awareness as part of Life Skills.’‘Christ, you’re one crafty cunt. I approve. If I was a teacher, I’d be you. But that’s still all theory. What practice do you have?’‘A bit, from the Drama Society parties at uni, and I’m about to have some more. Then I can teach from a standpoint of increased personal knowledge, right?’A smile from Dean at that one. ‘Yeah, good point.’‘Not right now though. I’ll know when it’s time. Got somewhere to be.’‘I know you do, you dirty bastard. You’re a dark one. There’s more to you than I thought…’Thus ended their dubious toilet cubicle exchange.The extent to which Jed feels heartened by Dean’s verbal high-fives is one more indicator of his progression to the Dark Side. Fuckers like Dean are all Hyde – they only wear Jekyll as a suit. And now Jed is flattered to be considered as a kindred spirit by this guy. There IS more to me than anyone thought, he considers as he parts ways with his generous supplier, including me.Here’s something else to consider as Jed bypasses the wedding reception and follows signs for the hotel’s alternative bar. It’s not the taking of the drugs that’s important right now – it’s the having. Consider the decade’s worth of information and guidance dispensed by this ethically impeccable member of the teaching profession. The sheer fucking wrongness of what he’s just done is, for the time being, enough. Enough to propel him, high on his own supply of inappropriate actions, to the next fucking wrong thing he’s going to do. And that one’s going to be crucial.Lily and Clara are waiting for him in the hotel’s Clifton Bar, so that he might find the right angle to do it.He locates them – conspicuous in their wedding-wear – in one of the bar’s snugs. Both faces are as moody as the bar’s lighting, and he considers on approaching what may have passed between them during their wait.Lily: (Aggrieved) You were really thinking of staying if I had to go?Clare: (Defensive) No, well, you know – if you can’t stand up to your parents…Lily: (Huffy) Look, if you want him, you should just say.Clara: (Appeasing with notes of pissed-off) He clearly wants you to stick around as much as me, so…Lily: (Nervous but thrilled) Are we crazy going off with him like this?Clara: (Plain fucking reckless) Maybe. Who cares? Do you want to have a party or don’t you?To be clear – Lily and Clara may or may not have said all or any of this. As narrator I could verify what they did say, but by now you’re aware that this is chiefly Jed’s story, thus all about the guesses he makes based on an interpretation of the girls’ mood, and how these guesses translate into action. It’s fun to speculate regarding other characters’ feelings and motivations though, isn’t it? At any rate, the girls’ faces are transfigured with delight on Jed’s return and that’s what’s important. That he uses as his starting point.

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